#rudastu/ @rudastu


Galileo of the Game

My thoughts are beyond earth – an artistic Galileo,
Life is my wifey!
it’s been black and white since that day in my tuxedo.
My psyche gets all it desires just ask my libido.
I’m having conversations with my ego,
about how I’m that nigga even though,
I ain’t your average negro.

American so I race for commas and zeroes!
Looking up to ballers because they assassinated all my real heroes.
I use to be Green like Cee Lo,
Now I know my ancestors’ success got vetoed.

Now I know all my hard work will get repoed,

If I look out for the wrong amigo,

Because most people in my life are placebos,

It’s just me & my words- I’ma poetic depot.

I see opportunity beyond my peep hole.
But I don’t know what to reach fo’
At least I got my steelo.
Me, myself, and I – my holy trio,
so I’m in the game like there’s no “TO’s.”

Life is beautiful

Life is beautiful…….
As long as you handle your business and stay away from the cubicles,
Squares will have you boxed in.
You’re unusual when think critically,
You grin with each win
fitting in ain’t fitting me.
Approaching decisions differently,
Life’s a bad one isn’t she?
But it’s all good when your perceiver’s free,
Of the pressure aka the impress people disease.
Because you find meaning beyond your means,
and living is so green, so organic,
every breathe fresh, so clean.
Yet your energy attracts them squares onto your scene,
Yet you cut them out before they’re seen.
Because you’re obsessed with a serene
state of mind and the grind the only thing on your mental screen.

Interactive when you’re out of your comfort zone.

There’s something about conquering the unknown.

And my peers rolling up thinking about chances blown.

Telling stories and creating movies that’ll never be shown.

From the basement of their momma’s home.

Highly Favored

Highly Favored

“Highly Favored”

God’s favorite but I ain’t special.
I just sacrificed too much to settle,
as I levitate past each past level.
Why waste time & wrestle –
with anything that’s unsuccessful.
I don’t believe in being regretful.
But maybe my ambition will have me fall like the devil.
Then everything’s in vain like the blood in my vessels.

Still I’m highly favored.

Down for my cause so I’m up early.
Thoughts orbiting earth got me feeling worldly.
I wonder if it’s too late –
to ask for something to compensate – for all the time I put in –
with this mental pen.

My subconscious been in the game I’ll just be “Ab honest” –
as I fulfill my self-made promise.

I’m all action and I’m cautious of those who just make comments.
Keep that love I don’t want it.
You characters are child’s play I read you like comics.
Then write about it for weeks,
I go on a streak, you ever seen a poetic comet?
That refused structure I can’t write sonnets –
but each word’s impact is atomic.
And my radius radiates,
All the candidates –
that deep down have what it takes –
or at the very least those who can relate – to staying true, to, who, you are not because it’s safe –
but because whatever you love to do has no cost,
and you know you already lost,
if you’re not getting paid to do what you love –
Who wouldn’t love to be A Real Boss.

God’s favorite but I ain’t special.
I just sacrificed too much to settle,
as I levitate past each past level.
Why waste time & wrestle –
With anything that’s unsuccessful.
I don’t believe in being regretful.
But maybe my ambition will have me fall like the devil.
Then everything’s in vain like the blood in my vessels.

Still I’m highly favored.

In this game they try to play you.
But you live by a code where it’s like you’re cheating the way you save you.
It’s a movie playing out with all the insight your parents gave you.
And you’re cut from a different cloth so they can’t waive you.
They ACT like it’s all love but in the end “watch em” hate you.
But you can only control your character relying on what raised you.
And the bar is set high, above the sky, don’t “let em” grave you.
Deading your dreams over what little dollars they think will enslave you.
God said,  “trust me and I’ll amaze you.”
So when the devil’s on one, playing pranks, it don’t faze you,
And when your high-definition vision’s clear absolutely nothing can daze you.

God’s favorite but I ain’t special.
I just sacrificed too much to settle,
as I levitate past each past level.
Why waste time & wrestle –
With anything that’s unsuccessful.
I don’t believe in being regretful.
But maybe my ambition will have me fall like the devil.
Then everything’s in vain like the blood in my vessels.

Still I’m highly favored.

Hip Hop Matters



The art of empowerment still lies underneath the catchy club-friendly hooks, the radio driven lyrics, and the auto tune. After Q-Tip’s twitter history lesson directed towards Iggy Azalea in December, it was apparent Hip-Hop has become one of the most diverse cultures in today’s society. However, with the help of Hip-Hop’s hit makers, it is still placed in a stereotypical box. The art form was created so the underprivileged could have a voice, an outlet from the streets, poverty, and drugs, but, in 2015 Hip-Hop is a worldwide phenomenon that still scares upper-class America. With its roots in the inner city is Hip-Hop responsible for uplifting the “Black Lives Matters” movement? Or is it responsible for reinforcing the stereotypes that have caused unjust murders? Or is it just music?

It is unreal how in the 70’s the Black and Latino youth in the Bronx created a culture that started from basement parties and street corners to become a global money machine. Initially a political and social movement, Hip-Hop became the voice of the community, but rhyming over rhythm has transformed into the music of the mainstream as it clearly generates millions and millions of dollars. There are still a lot of socially conscious artists out there that are advocates of the “Black Lives Matter” movement, but will the radios play their music to help it gain momentum? I doubt the sponsors would support that but with each crime committed against young black lives, we should be able to count on the artist we support to propel our social injustices to the highest platforms of exposure. However, I’m sure we will continue to hear the allure of fame, fortune, and women dominating the airwaves and the clubs because that’s what drives the masses to spend their hard earn money.

I hope some form of a political/social agenda resurfaces from the Hip-Hop leaders, yet I know our culture will never continue to flourish financially if the ideologies of successful Black America were able to set the stage for an intervention. Our culture needs to prove that applying all the misconceptions of African-American men to each and every one of them is wrong. As the black entertainers make millions can they still shine the light on the burden of being black in America? Or do we have to force America’s attention on social injustices through social media, mixtapes, and YouTube? Probably both and with the world of music becoming an internet based business, artist have more control of their content and the ability to reach the audiences they appeal to without interference from the powers that be. However, will the talented individuals use these tools purely for profit with no intent to create a purpose within the communities they come from or will they take on the responsibility of speaking out on the issues of violence?

Depicted. Abstractions. of a Zoned. Ebony. (Preface)




I wrote this preface over and over because I had writer’s block. My past and my promises were looking over my shoulder influencing every step of the conception of D.A.Z.E. As an introvert, I knew no external force could hamper my ability to produce this collection of rhyming semantics but yet there were so many obstacles. I identified my confusion, worries, and the frantic feeling and from there I refused to let anything stop me from publishing my poetry. The pressure I put on myself to be perfect was gigantic. I chased all my other dreams and caught them with a breath of exhaustion yet I remained empty because I still was unpublished.

My goal of publishing a book started back when I began to communicate my thoughts onto paper. I didn’t realize in elementary school my brain was working out what it could not yet understand.  Around the same time, I became a Hip-Hop fan. Rhythm was introduced into the equation and then came rhyming so I tried to mimic what I heard with my own ideas. Inspired by the lyrics and the instrumentals of Hip- Hop I found myself writing poems. I printed out Nas’ lyrics and taped them to my wall. I use to rewind Jay-Z over and over until I memorized each line. I listened closely to DMX, Tupac, Eminem, and the Notorious B.I.G. Little did I know their use of alliteration, hyperbole, imagery, metaphors, tone, theme, and similes would be stamped into my mind. It became a foundation for my identity. Their use of the poetic techniques painted pictures in my mind. The images became so vivid I began to see the world through a different lens.

For a long time, I kept everything I wrote to myself because it was for me. As I read each line I began to understand myself and it provided an intrinsic feeling of achievement. I told a few girls in middle school and they encouraged me to continue to express my feeling through words. In high school, my teachers told me I was good at writing. My mom found some of the work and created a High School memento. I didn’t like it, but it made me realize I should share what I’ve written with other people. The idea of creating a poetry book came into my mind, but still nothing transpired.

In college, I minored in English so my horizons were expanded to T.S. Elliot, Emily Dickerson, Walter Whitman, Claude McKay, Langston Hughes, and Countee Cullen. I was introduced to the technical terms and forms of poetry. I stuck to writing free verse poetry in my spare time because that allowed me to express myself more creatively than the restrictions associated with Shakespearean sonnets and other traditional forms of poetry. After studying the great poets of all time my understanding of poetry grew and I began to elaborate on the issues I saw around me and the issues I had within. Slowly I started to see how I could publish a book, but the idea was so far off in the distance I didn’t take it seriously.

After I graduated college I recognized I had both parents, a huge loving extended family, and plenty of friends, but no one was there for me like music, my pencil, and my notebook. Reading through all the poetry I had created I saw I wrote about everything and everyone. Finally, I decided to craft my poetry into a book with the main focus being on my identity. Although my writing was always too close to me to let my pieces go out in the world, I decided after years and years of writing to finally show everyone my life has always rhymed.


Purchase D.A.Z.E. at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/626727


Writing Sense

I been writing since,
I had a sense of each time god threw hints.
As grew I could see exactly what he meant.
You see each mistake was his intent.
Most say it’s the demons the devil sent,
but in reality they were reasons for me to repent.
I had an epiphany; I came to represent
the type of person that could make a dint
into this collective consciousness with content.
Leader or follower I am neither,
just a poetic speaker,
The student that questioned the teacher,
The son with more faith than the preacher,
With so much drive I broke the gas meter,
And broke down but then I studied the mind readers,
then rewrote my own thoughts so in myself I created a believer.


It’s about more than surviving,
Live a little while I’m alive-ing,
Yeah I struggle, to keep thriving!

Took a few L’s in life but my minds undefeated.

Failure’s never been greeted,

in fact it got seated

in the front row

as I played the fool like a genius.

It’s deeper than you can see- I low keyed it.

Took advantage of the misperception until my act was depleted,

But by then my plan was completed.

It’s about more than surviving,

Live a little while I’m alive-ing,

Yeah I struggle, to keep thriving!

Diagnosed with an addiction to the grind – it can’t be treated.

And as my bucket list gets deleted,

Yesterday’s me is the only one who completed,

With the pace of my achievements,

Although a few days it got heated.

And that energy white sheeted,

most of my demons and that’s just what I needed,

For this big ego of mine to keep eating

And that process gets repeated


It’s about more than surviving,
Live a little while I’m alive-ing,
Yeah I struggle, to keep thriving!
So live a little while I’m alive-ing.

“Schemas, Who Am I?”

After writing personal statements, bios, filling out “about me” sections, answering interview questions, and writing a preface for my poetry book it is easy for me to understand myself, but it took a long time to understand this fluid construct of a “self-concept” that consist of my conception and expression of my individuality. These descriptions of myself are based on my self-schemas, which are a collection of long lasting memories including beliefs, generalizations,experiences, academic performance, gender, social, and cultural roles. A self-schema is based on any physical characteristic, personality trait, behavior, or interest I have as long as it is seen by me to be important to who I am. These schemas interchange and interaction with each other depending on cultural backgrounds and environmental factors. They also represent how I expect myself to think, act, and feel in a particular situation or setting.


For instance as far as my interest, the two most prominent self-schemas I have are my professional schema and my poetic schema and they happen to be on the opposite ends of the  schema spectrum. My self-schema as a poet would never interfere with my self-schema as a professional because the poet in me doesn’t wear slacks or speak standard English, while the professional me is motivated by performance and money rather than the power of manipulating words. I realized the strong tendencies of my subconscious as it only attends to and remembers information that is relevant to my self-schemas. For example, my professional schema self-perpetuates itself as I chose  to engage into activities based on the stereotypes of what I think a professional is and my poetic schema is always searching for inspiration and new words to learn. During the day I refine my resume and cover letter, search job sites, read articles about career improvement, and of course work but then I go home and proofread a poem, research literary techniques, listen to hip-hop for inspiration, and read poetry by Langston Hughes. I am bias towards both types of information but I’m only interested in the professional details when I’m in a professional environment and vice versa.


However, as I start to market my poetry book, my professional schema has collaborated with my poetic schema to learn how to creativity promote a self-published book. My professional self has been able to assimilated certain information that is useful for business aspects of publishing in a way my poetic self would have had trouble understanding. My poetry schema could care less how many people buy the book, how much it cost to make it, and it definitely could care less how much money I make from it. My poetic schema just wants the poetry to be out there, but my professional schema knows it deserves to have a modest price attached to it, simply because of all the time and effort put into crafting it. Also, the professional schema funds the poetic schema, so it tends to want a return on its investment.


With this understanding of my self-schemas it is easy for me to realize why I became who I am and why I like what I like. Not many people are conscious of the underlying mental processes that reduce the amount of information their brain has to interpret and how stimuli in the environment is perceived. Also, they are not aware that our schemas guide our focus, influence our memories, and judgments. As a poet it is vital to me to understand how I came to act and think the way I do. This allows me to accomplish all my goals, whether they are career driven or for my own personal gain. Before I had this understanding, it was a world of distorted reality, unrealistic rigid expectations, and I could only fulfilled the limited prophecy my overall “self-concept” had created. Since this construct will never be static, the question will always remain, “Schemas, who am I?”

The Poet’s Pledge

I pledge,

that I know I am blessed to have a spirit in a world of soulless selves.

I pledge,

that I know my unconscious motivation to conquer each and every environment is a gift of immeasurable proportion.

I pledge,

I will be governed by principles instilled in my soul from the divine power.

I pledge,

I will follow my own philosophies without judging those you follow the Zeitgeist of my generation.

I pledge,

I will engage the world through an eclectic approach that gives me a multitude of perspectives to understand what lies beneath the dogmatic train of thoughts that influence the sheep like mindsets’ of many.

I pledge,

I will use the days in my life to create art.

I pledge,

I will create written expressions that convey themes derived from my existence as it collides with these so called “American” dreams.

Foundation (Year 1 in Review)

It is amazing to me how quickly 365 days goes by when you’re constantly in motion. Driving 20 plus hours on interstates, with only junk, from Denver to Atlanta was the best decision I ever made. Through sheer culture shock I’ve made all the necessary moves to go into year 2 as scheduled. The people of Atlanta have welcomed me in multitude of ways, although their motives were the first thing I noticed and not southern hospitality. They reinforced the notion that if I put my all faith in God and myself I will always intrinsically grow despite the despair, disrespect, lies, and neglect of negative people. Coming to the city of cities with unforeseen circumstances waiting for me was a calculated gambled that proved to be invaluable in the sense of truly getting to know myself ( Socrates would be proud!). My hometown built me but I had to leave so I could construct my foundation; My roots needed to be nourished by more culturally rich soil so I planted my life in the rolling hills of the A. I’ve been motivated by corporate America, small businesses, entrepreneurs, professionals, college students, and even the hustlers to grind one goal, one class, one word, one connection, and one paid hour at a time.  With blind faith I know my journey will forever be a continuous struggle to accomplish dreams my mind hasn’t created yet, simply because I’m in an environment where inspiration is in every cardinal direction. No longer can I rely on the excuse of race, or misperception, or even my past because they have no effect here. I can’t be rescued by a safety net if I fall because it was removed before I decided to tip toe across the high wire act of adulthood far from where my life began. Out of my comfort zone I’ve constantly developed skills out of necessity; A trait that can be traced back to the beginning of my ancestry. At times it seems as though I’ve been stagnant but really those were moments of impatience or rare instances of boredom. In Denver, I handled my business but it there really wasn’t anywhere to balance that out without running into the same crowd. In the Atl,  almost every bar, festival, restaurant, event, game, lounge, BBQ, mall, and club has some sort of appeal.  The well-shaped pretty women, great food, and the perfect music are plentiful. In fact, it’s ridiculous and I see why so many people become distracted and taken under by that world. I love that aspect of the city ( who wouldn’t) but I guess because I’m older that materialistic reality just extrinsically fuels me to take the necessary steps to be able to balance business with pleasure and eventually make business pleasurable.

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